My daughter, Nick, has her own blog, TellyrofTales.com – which she shares with her older brother, Ryan. While it started out as her high school “culminating project,” the two of them have kept it going (which I think is awesome, btw… ). Initially intended as a showcase for their respective talents (Nick’s the artist; Ryan’s the storyteller), Tellyr Of Tales has grown over the last few months. Currently, there are some pretty deep posts about video games and related social issues; as well as some of Nick’s thoughts on her education… or more properly, the institutional tics it’s afflicted with. Her (self-described) “rants” on the latter (see here and here) are certainly worth reading, IMHO… particularly since she’s writing from the perspective of someone who truly wants to think and be challenged. Her frustration with the bureaucracy is authentic.

I share her feelings, as – after nearly 4 years - I’ve grown tired of the persistent ”nannyism” … the default assumption seems to be that I’ll shit bricks on the Principal’s desk if the high school doesn’t reflexively consult me, Me, ME (!!!) about every aspect of Nick’s academic life.  But from where I sit, the invitations to ”hover” are misdirected: as she’s grown up, I’ve stepped down and ceded ”my” decisions to her. That’s the way it should be, since she’s the one who ultimately has to live with the outcomes.

Personally, I can think of no better way to prepare her for adult life - which is what “parenting” is all about, no?  I trust her judgment: she’s an extremely bright, creative, level-headed and thoughtful young woman. And she knows where to find me if she needs some help, feedback or advice, so there’s no reason for me to get out in front. She doesn’t need a ”mommy” anymore.

This is why I find the school’s relentless insistence on my direction jarring… particularly since Nick turned 18 last December, and is now a legal adult. Her classmates are in roughly the same boat – the majority of high school seniors are (or soon will be) 18, and are entitled to all the rights that go with the age.

Like the right to conduct their own affairs and control access to their records…

Yet – and this is the part that puzzles me - the powers-that-be act as if she’s still a minor child. Outwardly, very little has changed: letters and grade reports are still sent to “The Parents Of…” and permission slips to participate in various school activities still require a parent/guardian signature. Hell, one of Nick’s teachers even forced her to call me at home to announce her impending lunch-hour detention for being a few minutes late to class!

“Good mothers” are supposed to enjoy micromanaging, so I just roll my eyes and play along. While I pass all the letters – unopened – to Nick first, I usually just sign and date the goddamned forms; show up at the conferences; mouth the expected platitudes, etc. It’s just easier that way – for both of us. But today’s permission slip was the straw that finally broke the camel’s back… sure, I signed it, but only after scribbling a civil-but-blunt protest at the bottom. Really, enough is enough.

What was the form for? Evidently the teachers of the “Advanced Compositin” [sic] classes felt that Nick needed permission… to see excerpts from two movie versions of “Hamlet.”

Seriously… Hamlet - which many critics hail as one of the greatest plays ever written. Her class is doing a unit on it, so the teachers made the obvious choice to include some well-known dramatizations. BFD.

Needless to state, I was incredulous when Nick handed me the slip. Does the school actually believe parents have the right to decide whether their adult children should see it? Because that’s what a permission slip implies. By sending the form home, the school is giving me the right to prevent another adult from viewing scenes from two PG-rated depictions of an acclaimed literary work.

Outrageous… or simply ludicrous? I report, you decide.

The teachers’ concerns (as written on the slip) were focused on the violence (sword fighting) depicted in the play. Ok, I “get” that some parents might object to this in principle… but c’mon, a little perspective is in order here. Beyond the age of the students involved, in truth, they’ve already been exposed to plenty of violence. And I’m not referring to video games or Michael Bay movies, either… I’m talking about basic history. Civil War, anybody? Trail of Tears? Revolutionary War? Civil Rights? World War II/the Holocaust?

To be blunt: violence has been a part of their educations for the last 12 years… and the real thing, too: not choreographed pretend fights between actors in frilly costumes.

After teaching students about war, slavery and genocide – what’s the point in being delicate about presenting fictional sword fights? And to adults, no less. If the students themselves object, I don’t have a problem with allowing them to opt out – watching various dramatizations can enhance their understanding of the play, but aren’t necessary, per se. But honestly, there’s no reason to involve parents in this… let alone allow them to veto what their adult children can/cannot see.

Tags: Education, Schools

      When it comes to navigating New York City, the Big Wheel wins!

      I can relate to this, 110%. I was in Secaucus, NJ last year for a conference, and – while I was in the area – I took a side trip to Mineola to visit a friend.

      My big mistake was plotting my route using Google Maps – not only did it take me straight through Manhattan, some of the directions were unclear… so I ended up taking a wrong turn coming out of the Lincoln Tunnel.

      It was a double whammy: I was in Manhattan AND headed in the wrong direction. Needless to state, it was a clusterfuck – and trying to get turned around was an exercise in frustration. The traffic was ass-to-back… there was no effing place to pull over and try to get my bearings. It was a painfully slow and uncertain crawl through a maze of concrete, cabs and hordes of pedestrians.  It took 45 minutes before I (finally!) stumbled on a series of signs that led me to the Long Island Expressway.

      Talk about “Escape from New York!”  Suffice it to say, I was relieved to get the hell out of there without denting my rental car (or wetting my pants: I was starting to feel some pressure on the ol’ bladder). How emergency vehicles navigate that morass is beyond me.

      From that perspective, getting around on a Big Wheel doesn’t seem like such a joke. Apart from the ergonomics, it strikes me as a sensible alternative.

(h/t The Consumerist)

Tags: On the Road

      His recent takedowns of John Kyl are priceless!

Tags: Politics